Life Update – A Few Honest Truths

Life Update With Lipstick and Love

I’m not usually one to humour negativity or trolls in my life, however there has been one issue that has constantly been thrown my way in a negative light that I felt the need to address before I publicly name and shame this person. Seeing as that really isn’t me, and no matter how unpleasant said person is and no matter how much they push my buttons, I wanted to go about this in a different way. I’ve never been one for getting in the gutter no matter how tempting it can be.

Now, I’m sure the person that some of these points are about will be reading this. In fact, I know full well they follow everything I do. Almost anything I post gets an indirect but obvious, negative and spiteful response thrown at it. Some days, the good days, I laugh it off. In fact in a twisted way I feel flattered that someone would spend so much of their time obsessing over my life. Other days, the bad days, those spiteful, malicious comments hurt. What makes it more painful is that the person making these comments was once a friend of mine.

“Jealousy is a good indication that you’re doing things the right way. People never get jealous of those that are going nowhere in life.”

I’m never one for knocking anyones reputation, this isn’t what this is about, the fact I won’t disclose their name makes me feel quite confident I can get what I need to off my chest without any potential damage happening on their behalf. I’m really not about knocking others down. I also have too much respect for what was once our friendship for that.

I’m sure you’ve all seen me talk about my little family on numerous occasions. In fact you may have even seen pictures of them from time to time. It seems that certain peoples opinion is that if I’m not posting pictures of them, mainly pictures of Jack, across my social 24/7 that must mean I’m an awful mum that doesn’t care and has other priorities. Well, any sane person will tell you that really is not the case.

I’ve seen posts about me on numerous occasions. I’m being judged for what I spend my money on, for where I go out, in fact for how often I go out, and amongst all this, the welfare of my son has been questioned too. Now, I will overlook any comments about myself, but bringing Jack into this, my son, my child. That’s a different ballgame altogether. For someone to have the audacity to even suggest I prioritise going out and purchases for myself over my son, quite frankly needs their head testing.

However, seeing as said person making these allogations is so concerned about seeing a picture of Jack then here we go… Ladies and gentlemen, my wonderful and gorgeous son.

Toddler Boy Son

I mean, I know I’m bias but he’s pretty cool right? Does he really look like a child who is deprived of the things he needs in life? Does he really look like a child who isn’t happy at home, and who has a mum that doesn’t put his needs first? I don’t think so!

I’ve been told that I spend my money ‘pissing the night away’. I’ve been told I shouldn’t go out with Spence every other week. Oh, I’ve also been called a ‘part-time parent’ and been told that I shouldn’t ‘hand over my child so I can go out and have a good time’… Let’s just review that last point for a second – So I’m being told I shouldn’t allow my son to have a relationship with his dad?! That’s actually laughable. Clearly the opinion of someone that doesn’t understand what it’s like to a) be a parent within a broken family b) be the child within a broken family… That’s right I’ve both experienced this from the parents AND the childs point of view. Remind me again why you think you’re qualified enough to judge me sweetie?

There is too much negativity in this world. Too many people think it’s OK to judge other peoples lives and situations they have no idea about. What ever happened to positivity along with loving and supporting one another? What happened to people being pleased for other peoples achievements?

There was a time I thought that the friendship between this person and I would get back on track, but there has been far too much water under the bridge for that now. To the person this is about, I want you to know this:

I miss our old friendship. I miss the tea and cake, I miss the giggles. It was a friendship I truly held dear in my heart. There was a time I felt I couldn’t forgive you for cutting me out of your life for no reason at all. There was also a time I was angry at you for what you did, but that anger soon passed and left only confusion. Even now, I remain confused. It was you that walked away from this friendship. Yet it is you that continues to make comments as though there is still some link between us. At first I thought this was a way of trying to get my attention, an olive-branch as such. I thought perhaps you may have wanted to rebuild this friendship. Although some bitter comments spread across social soon confirmed this was not the case.

I really wish you well and all the happiness in the world for your future. I forgive you for everything, but that is where this ends. No friendship can be rebuilt after the horrible and hurtful words you spoke about me time and time again. You used things we discussed as friends against me. You made me doubt my ability as a mother and as a friend. However I soon learnt to ignore these doubts and ignore any future comments you chose to make about me or my family. Anyone that had true respect for what was our friendship would never have done the things you did. So I miss you, and I want to forgive you, but I also want to forget you.

– With Lipstick and Love x
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12 Comments

  1. Erin M 24th February 2017 / 9:32 am

    This is an amazing post. I’ve been in a similar situation (not concerning children, because I don’t have any) but with a lost friendship – comments, sideways criticism, but still an odd obsession with my life. It’s hard, it’s hurtful and it’s so important to sever it. What you’ve written so eloquently was kind but firm and I hope the person concerned realises what she’s lost. You should be very proud of yourself. No one has the right to tell you how to live your life based on their ideals or jealousies. You’re awesome.

    • Harriet 28th February 2017 / 8:35 pm

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read my massive long rant and for your lovely thoughtful words. I’m sorry you’ve had to experience something similar, it’s such a tough thing to go through. Hope everything is all ok with you now lovely – Sending massive love xx

  2. Sarah Drake 24th February 2017 / 5:05 pm

    Hey Harriet,

    I just wanted to say that this person of whom you speak must have serious issues. She is clearly jealous. If she truly believed you were neglecting Jack, publishing those beliefs all over social media is hardly the right way to deal with it. The fact that she is investing so much time reading everything you write and then commenting on it is just sad. It is not indicative of wanting nothing to do with you. Jealousy is so ugly!

    • Harriet 28th February 2017 / 8:42 pm

      Thank you for reading xxx

  3. Lola 24th February 2017 / 6:06 pm

    This is such an amazing and beautiful post! The fact that you can forgive and wish well upon this person shows how much of the bigger person you are. The fact anyone would slate you for letting your child spend time with their father is ridic. As someone from a broke home i regugarly saw my dad and that made us form an immensly strong relationship. There are a lot of mothers who use their children as weapons in their dispute so all you are doing is bringing up your child in the right way teaching him the right morals in life. As for going out every other week seriosuly you cant have a bit of ME time!!! I watched Bad Moms the other night and this person sounds like the snotty PTA mum! Keep going your doing an amazing job dont let anyone tell you otherwise! X
    Lola Mia // http://www.lolitabonita.co.uk

    • Harriet 28th February 2017 / 8:39 pm

      Thank you so much for reading sweetie. Your Bad Moms comment made me literally laugh out loud. It definitely cheered me up and put a smile on my face – You absolute doll! 🙂 xxx

  4. Zoe 24th February 2017 / 6:38 pm

    This post is completely acceptable, don’t you worry about that at all! You posted with such grace, not slating anybody but simply addressing the situation.
    I believe that people can get caught up in Social Media and over analyse a persons every single move. Maybe this other person would secretly love to have a gorgeous family like yours and reacts this way because of that?

    Your family are clearly so happy and grateful for having such an incredible mother – never change yourself because of what another person says! Do what makes you happy and not worry about what others are going to think!

    Thank you for this lovely read and I hope you get some peace after posting this!

    Zoe | nuggetstumpblog.com

    • Harriet 28th February 2017 / 8:38 pm

      Thank you so much, not only for taking the time to read my massive rant but for taking the time to share your thoughts and kind, caring words. It means a lot xxx

  5. Cat Mc 24th February 2017 / 8:45 pm

    You are the bigger (& better) person … not many people would be quite so forgiving. Her loss … onwards and upwards xx

    • Harriet 28th February 2017 / 8:37 pm

      Massive love xxxx

  6. Tabby 25th February 2017 / 9:45 am

    No matter what personal opinions a person may have attacking their capability as a mum is just a no go. I’m with you that there is so much negativity in the world I wouldn’t perpetuate more – it’s really cool you can let go of any anger and offer love to this person.
    Really cool read and good for you for having your say in a ‘classy way’.

    • Harriet 28th February 2017 / 8:37 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind words xxx

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